Ok, now most people that know me know that occasionally I’ll peep out of the woodwork with a box of delicious vinyl and dance about for a few hours while playing them probably too loudly to a room of music loving people. I love it, it’s my hobby, I bring a mixture of my late fathers teenage years (60’s soul, blues and r’n’b) and my recently acquired (when I can spare the money) heart throbbing tunes and very much enjoy sharing them.
Dj’ing is my passion, I used to do it more regularly and always wanted a residency in a cool little club, I achieved that, in a small but perfectly formed cocktail bar, it was full of cool touches, young beautiful bar people and it even had the toilet area set out like the London Underground, platform announcers and all.
Unfortunately the reality of the pressures of having a constantly poorly teenage daughter and a full of energy young boy and being an assistant manager for a well known organisation that was sending me to London training was way way too much of a commitment for me to have any spare time energy. The thought of being on my feet all day at work or travelling all day on boats that were making me sea sick then sorting the kids and packing up my decks, boxes full of heavy vinyl, lugging it all to the bar and unpacking, setting up then standing there all dolled up on my own, sober, playing from 9-whenever the bar shut while humouring drunken comments and not screaming “FUCK OFF LEAVE ME ALONE!” While worrying about what my teen was getting up to and if she was ok, knowing that she’d been missing me all day and just wanting to be with her, ending up in hospital with her she got so sick, hoping my son was having a nice time at his dad’s despite crying to me that he didn’t want to go, just didn’t appeal to me. Well it just took too much out of me, hell work took too much out of me and I was exhausted, my kids needed me for their mental health.
So I only really come out of my hiding place once or twice a year and suffer heavy anxiety when I do, for about a week before I’m freaking out, on the day my chest feels like it’s going to explode, but then, once I get past the blind panic and lay that needle on the crackly vinyl, I feel joy, euphoria, the music springs me to life and I start to unashamedly boogie, I sing along and I don’t care who can see me, I want them to see me, I want them to feel so comfortable with me and the music that they come and join me, and they do, granted it takes a few drinks for most but once one person is up they’re all up, we swap smiles, they gush to me about the record, how much they love it, give me the thumbs up and I know what I’m going to play next, it’s a musical journey that makes me feel alive and purposeful, I forget all my worries and we are united in dance and feel good vibes.
Music does that to me, it sends me to a happier place, whether it’s Queens of the Stone Age’s Josh ‘baby duck’ Homme making me feel like a sexy badass, Led Zeppelin giving me the chills as I’m screaming along in heartfelt abandon with Robert Plant, dancing around like a crazy sex kitten to the Eagles of Death Metal, hotline bringing it with my kids and Drake, moaning out the fast paced blues with Cream, I could go on, I won’t, I do that too much haha!
I’ll always have my music, WE will always have music, one of my closest friends was really suffering with depression, I tried to help her by being there and then it occurred to me to gift her with music, I burned her a couple of CDs, one was Sam and Dave’s greatest hits (sweet soothing soul) and the other was a self put together playlist of happy bouncing singalong soul and funk.
The change in her was fantastic, she was bouncing off the walls with joy and we shared so many laughs while serenading each other in song, it was such a great time for both of us, she would send me funny messages telling me how she loved Sam one day and Dave the next, I was so damn pleased I could help her!
So to my point, music is the lifeblood of my soul, your soul, don’t trust someone who doesn’t listen to music, they are either a robot or a lizard, or maybe a lizard robot!
Spread some joy today with the gift of a heartfelt song, you might just save someone’s soul!
I thank you for reading!